Marriage (Take II)

I've been hearing lots of comments about marriage lately. None of them have been said to me, but I love to listen to people talk and hear snippets of conversations as I walk around and do... whatever I'm doing.

Yesterday I was at the grocery store in the school supplies section (so, um, I was totally in heaven!) and trying to choose a notebook to buy, and a young couple with a child came rolling around the corner, clearly agitated. I heard the man say to the woman, "Well, trust me. I'm only with you because I married you."

Ouch.

Then, today, I overheard someone tell someone else, "Marriage shouldn't have to be hard. You shouldn't have to work at it, it should just work itself out. If you have to try to make it work, something's wrong." I thought to myself, What universe is she from?!

When I first became engaged, I thought that marriage would just be wonderful. Thomas and I would still have the same kind of effortless relationship that we had always had, except that we would also be living together. We would have the perfect little house and a nice little car and probably a dog. We'd have the occasional argument, but we'd kiss and make up.

And then... the wedding planning came. We both had totally different ideas of what our wedding should look like, and we are also both extremely stubborn. It was a struggle to come to an agreement most of the time. We managed to get through it.

And then... the honeymoon began. To be honest, I'm pretty sure that Thomas and I had our first "married argument" in the car on the way to the reception. (He didn't turn in the right place, even though I told him exactly where to go!) We also struggled to find a balance on our honeymoon. He wanted to buy things like comic books, and I wanted to save as much money as possible for the "real world" that I was so afraid of.

And then... married life began. It's great! But, we aren't perfect. (Thomas actually told me a few months ago that one of his friends was shocked to hear us arguing, because they thought that we never disagreed. I think I laughed until I cried on that one!) We argue. We disagree. We even shout (frequently). We're both stubborn, and we're both always right. We mess up.

But... in spite of all that, I could NEVER use such biting words as the man in the store who I mentioned earlier. And, I would never, ever dream of telling anyone that marriage isn't hard work. Because it is. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's also the most wonderful. I like my guy. Sometimes, I think I'll actually keep him around for awhile.

:)